There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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