Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
accomplished twins. life is a go
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
