Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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