Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
