kristin has been a bad kristin
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
