Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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