Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
