Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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