omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
