So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
