nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
