im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
