White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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