I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
