sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
this hospital has no fireball
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
