Sry I called you an 8
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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