so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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