Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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