Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
