he shaved USA in his pubs
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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