No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
