I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
