the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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