Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the night ended with taco bell and tears
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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