i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
