I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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