I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
