The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
