So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize