she woke up with a sticky ear
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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