and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize