we have officially lost it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
