We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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