Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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