i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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