You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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