I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So vagazzling was a success
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