Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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