You're completely useless in the revolution.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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