dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
