So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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