your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
