Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize