My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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