: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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