Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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