It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize