Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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