She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
