i would punch a child for taco bell
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize