guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You pole danced in your parka.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
