Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
