Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
