Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize