but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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