I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
