What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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