Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
