Apparently you make a good broom.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
