The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am spending my child support on dildos
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
