thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
