My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
